Must. Refrain. From. Posting. Unwanted. Unnecessary. Thoughts. Here. Help.

Drafts on drafts on drafts.

“ He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.
Dreamscape (1)

I awaken standing at the foot of an empty hall. A multitude of picture frames align the walls in an orderly fashion. I trace just beneath the photos as I make my way down this hollow tunnel. I hear the whispers of every secret, every memory, and every syllable you had spoken. But this “you” is unfamiliar. I glance at the photos but I’m unable to make out exactly what it showed. Was it of people I knew? Or was it of objects? I’ll never know.
When I finally got to the other end, a glistening door appeared before me. I reached for the knob and told myself not to look back. I did anyway. It was just an empty hallway now. No pictures. No sounds. I could only feel my heartbeat and the sound of my breath. I opened the door and woke up back to reality.

Salt on salt.

I’m still salty about 98% of the things people did to me. If you mess with me, I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. Seriously, I still remember the time 3 of my closest friends told me they hated me. Still. Salty. I remember the time when my brother and cousin tried to convince me a monkey punched me in the face. Still. Salty. I remember the time when my parents told me i was adopted and my siblings played along. Still. Salty. But its okay, with all saltiness aside, I love them. Ha. Ha. Ha. 😒

947.

I don’t really care how you feel if you aren’t doing anything about it. Sorry not sorry. You control how you feel. You don’t rely solely on others. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Make your reaction something positive. Something that won’t drag you down. With that mind set, I’m sure you can achieve anything you could possibly imagine. And I think that is beautiful. That is worth bragging about. That is something I care about.

So this weekend, I volunteered during a lecture at camp. I didn’t think much of it, all I knew was that it was going to be about serving God and prophets. But what I got out of it was much more than what I had expected. I, and two others, got asked to spray all the contents out of a Gillette bottle. After a few minutes, a blanket of shaving cream covered the table. Then we got asked to try to put the shaving cream back into the bottle. We tried opening the top, scraping the residue into nozzle, and pushing it into any crack that the bottle had. Obviously this task was nearly impossible to complete. We were then told that the shaving cream represented words and phrases. Once they were said, they are impossible to erase. Then I thought about how many posts I typed up, how many conversations I’ve withheld, and how many times I have made people feel like rotting garbage. I cant take it back, but I sure as hell want to. So to those who can read this, and more importantly to those who cannot, I’m sincerely sorry for all the things I have said. I know I can’t take it back, no matter how hard I try, I can only give a genuine apology. And I’m sorry.

There’s always that one person who really knows how to piss you off.

EW.

And you wonder why I dont like you. Please. Save it for someone who you didn’t screw over. You’re disgusting.